One Heart, One Mind!

Life has way of calling one to change and grow; this never ceases to amaze me.  This past weekend was Central’s Kairos (word means a time when the conditions are right for the accomplishment of a crucial action) Retreat.  This retreat is designed for our Senior division.  The ultimate goal of the retreat is to call all back to God.  A series of talks are given and through the witness of the speakers and the conversation that follows, all experience God.   I happen to know this class well as I’ve taught them for two academic years.  They have a reputation for being a rowdy and rambunctious class.  This retreat, however, proved to be a time of introspection and conversion (based on my observation) for many of them.  It compelled me to do some soul-searching myself; one cannot experience something like this and not be moved.

On the last night, I was leading my group in a closing session, “affirmation.”  It was here I received, simultaneously, a great compliment and critique from a wise student.  He told me I was one of the greatest teachers he’s ever known and he has the utmost respect for me.  He went on to say, though, that he was disappointed in some of the destructive choices I’ve made.  He believed that I could do better.  Wow!  No student had ever put it so poignantly and direct.  His words struck me like a 2x4 across the face.  For a moment, I felt like a father who, unaware of the influence he wields, did something terrible to offend his son.  The student was afraid to share because he thought I would be offended.  In response, I expressed my pride in his ability to speak his truth with love.  I went on to say that I was sorry for not being the best role-model.  This apology, however, is in vain if I choose to continue to live the same way. 

Earlier in the day, I shared my personal story of obstacles faced in my short 30 years of life on this earth.  I spoke earnestly and respectfully (of myself and to the students) of destructive decisions I’ve made regarding alcohol and sex.  These issues have caused harm and pain to many others as well as myself.  I attributed these regrettable actions to boredom and loneliness.  These actions are evidence of the fact that, in a way, I live two lives.  I have my life as an educator and role-model and I have a life outside the school.  Of course it is ok to have a life outside school, in fact, it is a necessity.  Why, though, must there be no transparency in how I live my life off campus?  Why can’t I live the message of the material I teach?  What inhibits me from conversion and change?  Indeed, the spiritual life is rife with failure, boredom, mystery, and loneliness.  Many a spiritual masters have referred to these instances or periods of life as “dark nights of the soul.”

When I do experience these “dark nights” then I’m glad to be part of Sobremesa.  Community reminds that no one is an island existing totally alone.  If individualism and the “American Way” of doing things ultimately causes boredom, loneliness, or dis-ease with oneself, then Community is the cure.  Community calls me to pray with God who proves that none are alone.  Because of community, I’m reminded that I need to live one life not two.  I need to be transparent so that I can live my vocation better and work to effect positive change in the world.  I need to be the best man I can be. 

If we are, in deed, about making the world a better place then we must be of one heart and one mind; we must be in community.  This insight reminds me of a line from Acts 4:32, “The whole congregation of believers was united as one—one heart, one mind (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts%204:32&version=MSG)!  Today, I’m giving thanks for my vocation and my life in community.  These realities are like a spring of wisdom and inspiration in my life!  I challenge you to examine how community is something that you need in this very private and individual culture we live in.  If you are interested in continuing the conversation then please email us at sobremesamlc@gmail.com.