My New Fall

Jen's New Fall


I was blessed with an opportunity to travel I-10 from San Antonio to Kerrville today to host a retreat this weekend at Tecaboca. The trip is a short 90 minute adventure filled with fresh pizza and 18 wheelers. I was surrounded by blue sky stretching forever... with the clouds casting their shadows on the rolling hills. The grass, shrubs and trees all beautiful shades of GREEN. For Texas, I am sure this is a good thing... it has rained so much lately, everything is green. The thing is, I grew up on the East Coast. The Fall was filled with deep reds and delicious oranges and vibrant yellows, making the trees magical. Not the case here in Texas.

This made me think of all of things I miss about Fall, my old Falls. I thought about Homecoming Games (and chaperoning dances) where families recognized me, Lacrosse games (not a popular sport down here), the Colorfest in Thurmont(a tiny town known as the "the Gateway to the Mountains" on the Catoctin Mountain. They host this fantastic town-wide craft fair my family would often check out), carving pumpkins (I have not found ONE pumpkin field), and waiting for my uncle’s famous homemade apple pie. Being there for my mom’s birthday. Celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving with my family. All of these “things” are really memories I have… romanticized maybe… but either way, I re-live these memories every Fall.

They are the type of memories that are warm and fuzzy. When I think of them, I start missing not only Maryland, but my family too. This is where I always get stuck. I like tradition. I like knowing what to expect and anticipating it. Moving from Maryland to Texas makes that harder… as you could imagine. Community has also made that harder. I am challenged to let go of my old traditions to make room for new traditions and memories. I have to be present to Sobremesa, Clare, and Louie in order to make my new Fall memories. This is hard for me. I fight it more often than not. It’s so much easier to worry about what I want to do and how I want to spend my time… just doesn’t work that way in community. I care about what Louie and Clare want to do. I care about their traditions. Lonni Pratt and Father Homan tell us in Radical Hospitality, “This kind of care is in the details; it is revealed in our passion to prepare a place for someone. When we really care about someone, we try a bit harder.”  I think this is what happening to me. I want to let go or let my old “Fall” ideas die to be present to the new Fall. The Fall memories I am making with my community.  I am ready… just like this season… Fall is a time for death in order to prepare. I am appreciating the time we spend with one another, present to one another and to the community as a whole. I appreciate preparing meals for Louie and Clare and for our guests because it will allow us to be together at the table talking story. I appreciate my time vacuuming and sweeping (mom… don’t get too excited) because Louie and Clare appreciate it and it makes our home more comfortable for guests. I am learning to appreciate making new traditions and new memories because it gives me a chance to grow and I know that I am not alone.

Our Fall has looked a little like this:

-          Clare working hard to get Jhonny here… helping her make binders, listening to her frustrations and sharing in her joys. This week she goes to the Dominican Republic to be interviewed by Immigration to determine if Jhonny gets a Visa. I will never forget this experience.

-          We went out to a fancy meal as a community (first one I can remember). We turned lots of heads, laughed heartily and shared delicious food.

-          Bruises and scratches from my new friends at my new job. I’m learning to LISTEN in a new and different way. I am blessed to come home to both Clare and Louie and share my day. Making the day, the frustrations, the sadness, the laughter real for me.

-          Running with the community… Clare already shared that one!! What an eye opener… thankful we all survived. (“CLLLLLLARE!!!!!!!!”- me yelling her name into an open field and checking under trees.)Hopefully, there will be more chances...

I’m excited to see what’s next… I know I am ready for it! I’m ready for more of our Fall… even if it is a Texas Fall (green and warm enough to melt gummy bears in my car).