The Great (or not so great) "I"

The Great (or not so great) “I”

I’ve been drawn to St. Francis of Assisi as his feast day was this past Thursday, October 4.  I happen to work with a Franciscan man, though not part of the Franciscan religious congregation, who is familiar and has great love for their charism.  I asked him to tell me a story about Francis to share with my students.  He told me a story I’ve never heard.

The story goes something like this:  one day Francis was sitting in San Damiano, a chapel outside the city of Assisi, Italy when he heard Jesus on the crucifix begin to speak to him.  As you look deeper into the life of Francis you find that miraculous and peculiar things befell him (Stigmata, talking animals, etc.).  Jesus simply tells him to rebuild his house.  Francis wonders what this means so Francis decides to rebuild the old and decrepit Chapel of San Damiano.  He sets out to do this and do this he does.  Francis, shortly thereafter, however, understands Jesus’ words to mean something different.   He understands that God was referring to the Church, the people of God. 

Being the analytical person I am, and after hearing my colleague tell this story I began to ask myself these questions.  How am I rebuilding relationships?  Who are the lepers, unwanted and lowly in society that Francis was obsessed with helping, that I’m not paying attention to and that I’m called to help?  How is my life a reflection of Jesus’ life?  And so, this brief post is an attempt to apply this Franciscan wisdom to my life and yours.

Being a single man knocking on the door of 30 gives me unique insight as well as opportunity to curiously wonder and question.    Oftentimes, and to be frank, I wonder why am I still single?  I wonder why I live in community?  Is this just a waste of time?  Shouldn’t I be married with kids?  I mean shouldn’t my life be taking a different course or direction?  It is easy to become too focused on me!

I could (and believe me I have at times) become obsessed with these questions.  I mean shouldn’t we be thinking deeply and questioning where our lives are going?  The single life lends itself well to this facet of the human experience.  In our age of distractions and instant gratification it is easy to become obsessed with the great “I.”  It is common to want the answer yesterday.   One could argue that our culture does promote a strong sense of excessive individualism where what one feels or believes, for all purpose and intent, is god. 

With Francis, we find a strong counter-cultural example of what it means to care more about our neighbor than ourselves.   Francis reminds that by letting go of our distractions and desires we can see Jesus in our neighbor; we can see Jesus in the poor and marginalized.  He works for social change and has hope that God is present with him and in his every action (the famous line that I will paraphrase:  preach the Gospel at all times, when necessary use words).  He lives for the least in society and not for himself. 

Of course, it should be stated, not everyone is called to the radical way of life that Francis lived.  Yet, our call remains, in some considerable way, to work to rebuild and repair relationships amongst all in our society.  This is something the Sobremesa community is still wondering and praying about.  What is our role to establish right relationships between ourselves, our neighbors, and God?  We hope the Spirit will reveal answers soon.

Henri Nouwen, the great wisdom and contemplative figure of the 20^th Century, reminds us in his book Here and Now that “Hope frees us from the need to predict the future.  This allows us to live in the present.”  If this truth is true, which I believe it is, then my focus needs primarily to be in the here and now, the present.  Everything one needs will be supplied by living in the present.  So don’t worry too much about the future, eh?

I’ll leave you with the great prayer of St. Francis.  Perhaps it can give you, as it has for me countless times, great hope and faith to have the courage to live and love for our beloved neighbors.  Peace.

 Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.