Prove It.

This has been one of the more emotionally exhausting weeks I can remember having, in the best of ways.

As Jen mentioned in her last post, I (we) have been preparing for Jhonny's visa interview in the Dominican Republic with the US Consulate. Though Jhonny and I got engaged last November, until this last week (Tuesday, to be exact), we didn't really know or have any idea the when, where, "if" of it all. As he is not a US citizen, and is from/lives in the DR, we embarked on the K1 finace visa journey. It took us from November to February to get everything (paperwork) in order. USCIS received our application of February 14, 2012, and on October 16, 2012 - 8 months, many headaches, ridiculous amounts of effort, lots of prayers and tears and struggle, wishes cast on shooting stars in the Caribbean, a few hurdles of others' disapproval, and whole lot of blessings later - we were granted permission for him to immigrate to the US so we can get married. It has been an indescribable journey, which many people have walked many steps of with us; as we left the Consulate office on Tuesday, ecstatic and grinning from ear to ear, we couldn't help but be so abundantly humbled and filled with gratitude for the many, many members of the communion of saints here on earth, whose accompaniment in various ways helped and enabled us to get here.

I could go into a lot more detail here about the visa process, the ins and outs, the struggles and realities and glimmers of hope throughout these past 8-11 months. But I won't - if you're interested in knowing more, shoot me an email. For now I just want to focus on the big overarching idea of it all - and maybe make us all stop to think for a minute, if you will.

This visa process, essentially, challenged Jhonny and me to prove our love. In recent correspondence with a dear friend who has seen the evolution of our relationship over the past almost 5 years, she shared her questioning about this - how do you prove something (to a complete stranger) that is so very much a gift from God written on your hearts? How do you prove God's love made manifest in our human reality? How do you prove that which fills your heart (and has the potential to break it); how do you prove the Divine's presence?

This has stuck with me. Jhonny and I proved it through pictures and papers and plane ticket stubs and phone bills; through letters from friends both here and there who have witnessed us together, seen us interact; through pictures and answering questions about one another; through our own historical accounts of the past 4 years and 8 months; through our standing there together on Tuesday, and trusting that this person making the decision would see in our eyes the deep and profound God-given love that we have for one another - a love that crosses cultural, language, racial educational and socio-economic barriers. But we didn't prove it alone.

There is not a doubt in my mind that proof of our love also came from the hundreds of prayers being offered for us all over the world for the past few weeks since we got word of the interview date, and specifically on Tuesday. Proof came from the intercession of young women novices entering religious life on the East coast, from high school girls struggling to understand the connection between a universal theme of love and a controversial political topic of immigration, from friends of those I am close to in California and Hawaii, from shared petitions at mass, from well wishes of those in countries as far reaching as Ecuador and Morocco; from people holding us up in prayer in New York and Texas, the Dominican Republic and Spain and Nicaragua, Baltimore, Ohio, New Mexico and so, so many others places. Proof came from a shared prayer with a loved one days prior at the feet of our Lady of Guadalupe - asking Mary to continue accompanying this endeavor, to finish interceding for the work she began with us, to let us release and relinquish all to her so she - a woman and a wife, could do her thing. And do her thing she did, thankfully.

So where am I going with this, and what does this mean? Well, first, I think it means we cannot prove love independent of community. We need others - we need each other - we need community, and the communion of saints that we belong to on this land, to help others see that which God makes happen on earth. The power of prayer is remarkable, that I know for sure is true. Jhonny and I could not have made it this far without our individual communities: Jen and Louie, John and Pancho. And I am convinced that it is the wider community's prayers - and support, accompaniment and love - that allowed our love to be recognized as true and genuine, that allowed a complete stranger to see what God has placed on our hearts. So many people have played a part in this journey with us - probably more people than we're even aware of - and it was a community effort (and a lot of help from the Blessed Mother) to make God's love become visible.

But this also begs for me a bigger question. What if we all had to prove our love for one another - a Christian love; not just a romantic love, but a love for our sisters and brothers around the world, that we share quite simply just because we are part of this larger human family; a love that strives for justice for all and comes not from a human desire, or from lust or attraction, but a love that truly comes from God - what if we constantly had to prove our love?

What if we constantly had to prove our love? What would our world look like? Would there be war, hunger, senseless murder, gang territories dividing neighborhoods? Would there be unfair labor practices, an immeasurable gap between the haves and the have-nots, a fence dividing families and sending the constant message of "keep out"? Would there be hate, racism, sexism, ageism? Would we be a part of a society that says only certain people (with the "correct" sexual orientation) can get married? Would we part of a society that cannot seem to comprehend that both the death penalty and abortion lie within a consistent ethic of life? Would we be tearing families apart because a specific member doesn't have a particular paper? Would we be listening to mud-slinging propaganda day after day that is supposed to convince us of the best person to be leading one of the world's most powerful nations?

What would our world look like if we all had to prove our love?
What would your world look like if you had to prove your love?