A Community in LOVE

Dating (from what I’ve gathered) is complicated…. When you mix dating with living in an intentional community… it becomes even MORE complicated. Don’t get me wrong, it is totally worth it… just a huge challenge. It appears to be a challenge that everyone in the community is willing to accept. There are challeges inside of challenges and there are benefits and joys to it too. Like everything else in community (from laundry, to prayer to yard work) you have to find the balance for you.

The harder stuff:

My biggest struggle has been stepping on toes and the delicate presence within the house.  TIME is precious… from work, reading, friends, other activities, we as Sobremesa have very little of it. And it has become something I cherish about living with Louie and choosing Sobremesa. I love coming home to chat about my day with Louie or catching him as we run off for the day. I love walking over to Baade’s to help her unpack boxes or share a meal and watch a slide show of her family photos. But Time is important for building relationships outside of the community (which we have talked a lot about here on the blog). I have to make sure I am present to Louie, Baade and Tyler (my boyfirend)…

I also need to make sure that Tyler and I make Louie and Baade comfortable around us. I can’t always hang out with one or the other… I have to ask if it is ok if Tyler comes out. I keep Louie involved with all of the plans… and I invite Louie and Baade to do things with us. I want them to be a part of my relationship with Tyler.

The good stuff:

I love the times when the four of us laugh until we cry, talk story, eat together and pray together. Sobremesa is a part of me and so is this new community with Tyler. It is a fantastic thing when things overlap. It is a comfortable and easy movement to a growing community…

I love that Louie, Baade and I can talk openly about the people we are dating. It is nice to hear other struggles and ways of thinking from my community members when it comes to dating.

I love to watch my community mates fall for others they are dating. I learn from them how to love others and accept people. I like to see them happy and building support systems around themselves.

I know that my experience and feelings could change about living in community and dating as a 30 something… but right now, I couldn’t be happier. Learning from Tyler, Louie and Baade about love, how to pray, and how to be the best Brophy I can be.

 

“What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.”
― Kurt Vonnegut