I feel HOME

I feel HOME

“I feel home, when I see the faces that remember their own. I feel home, when I’m chillin outside with the people I know. I feel home, and that’s just what I feel. Home to me is reality and all I need is something real.” –O.A.R.

What’s home to you?

I sent a text today to a dear friend in Maryland, asking her how her Thanksgiving was. She replied that it was good and she was glad to be home. Home is where you can let go and be yourself. Home is where you feel comfortable.

 Being away from my family and my community this Thanksgiving made me think a lot about HOME… and what home has become for me. I have been away from my family before for Thanksgiving, but this year was a little different. It was probably the smallest Thanksgiving meal I’ve had, but it was filled with laughter, food, dancing, silliness, prayer, and love. It made me miss people that I could be sharing my Thanksgiving meal with. The friends and family that love and have loved me in various ways: my Family in Maryland and Pennsylvania, my Friends in Maryland, my Community, friends and family who have passed away, and the friends whom I have had to “prune” or cut out of my life, were all missed.

I’m thinking that it may not be limited to just the house I grew up in. My home is found in the people that love me and support me and accept me for who I am and who I want to be. That opens up my home from just Black Spruce Lane to Newfoundland, Florida, Pennsylvania, California, New York, Hawaii, Texas, Colorado, and the list goes on.

It’s not always a warm and fuzzy place… it’s just like a real home. There are hard things and people mess up. Mumford and Sons has a song called Lover of the Light “watch me stumble over and over, I have done wrong, so build your tower but call me home and I will build you a throne.” I have found amazing people who accept me, and forgive me, and help me grow. I’m growing into this person I didn’t even know I wanted to be.

I am blessed to have found a home in Sobremesa. My community here in San Antonio has become a place where I can attempt to let myself grow, be my true self… working towards the person God wants me to be. Being home in Sobremesa is hard work. It takes all three of us to be vulnerable, to let each other into the good and bad parts of ourselves. To let each other see our weaknesses, challenge us and accept us. All of these things take a lot of work. Just like a family… it is a never ending job… thankfully, all of the work is totally worth it.